Night I Cry, Night I Bleed
by Serephim
Summary: What have I done to deserve this silence from you? HakkaixO.C. Will become graphic later on. Major angst.
1. The Dream

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Saiyuki. That's Kazuya's job. I own Yoko, Emi, and Kaiya.

Note: This is my first time writing one of these. I'm very nervous so I'm doing it in chapters. My friend wanted me to do this so that's why it's here. The first chapter is very short... I apologize in advance. Please enjoy and reveiw.

Night I Cry, Night I Bleed

Yoko

I had it again. That dream where you're falling forever and never landing. Except I'm running, always running. It starts out slow but then it goes downhill from there. I'm walking along, carrying groceries. I wanted to be nice. I remember the leeks. I hate them so much.

(Hey, baby… Goin' our way.)

I remember the shadows too. They were darker than usual and much bigger too. I really don't understand why. They moved towards me. Except they had no body. They were just shadows crawling towards me, whispering softly.

(Come on. Don't be shy.)

It was cold too. And damp. Like freezing cold water had been dumped on me, without actually touching me. I was knocked down to the ground. I tried to move but my body was held down. Hot breath surrounded me, suffocated me, nauseating me. I couldn't breath. I can't breath. I tried to cry out but my cheeks started to sting. Tears fell down my face. Confusion engulfed me, questions filling my mind.

\Whyareyouhurtingme?WhathaveIdonetoyou?WhatdidIdotodeservethis?\

(Stupid bitch! Stay still and you won't get hurt.)

My eyes opened and I saw blurs moving before me, laughing in glee. I don't understand. Please leave me alone. I try to tell them but they don't listen. Another sting on my cheek an order to be quiet. They're doing something to me. They're doing something to my clothes.

\What are you…? No, please don't! I'll behave, I'll be good! Please don't! Let me go! Let me go! Please let me go! Please let go.\

I'm sobbing. The tears are falling down my face. I'm trapped in these shadows. I don't want to but I have no choice. I scream.


	2. The Problem

Hakkai

I don't know what shook my soul more: the thunder crashing outside my window or Yoko's screams. I thought I would be used to the screams of a woman but anymore when I hearYoko scream, my breath catches and I can't move. I'm useless to her. OnlyKaiya andEmi can help her in this darkness she's fallen into.

It had been a normal evening for us. I remember Gojyo and Goku fighting over something silly.Emi andKaiya were talking about something, while Sanzo was reading his daily paper. I was in the middle of making up a list of things we needed on our trip. I was about to go out to get them, butYoko volunteered.

"You look tired. I'll go get the supplies." She had said cheerfully.

"That's quite alright. Relax while you have time to. I believe Sanzo said we leave in the morning." I smiled, trying to ease her worry.

"I don't mind going out and getting the things we need. Besides, I need to get some exercise anyways." Yoko protested, putting an arm around my shoulders in a half hug.

"Alright. I know I won't win an argument against you." I chuckled, easing into her embrace.

I gave her the list and told her to be careful. We face danger every day, so it's natural I warn her to be careful. I never expected my warning to come true.

She didn't come back that evening. I went to bed early after much coaxing from Gojyo. He always means well, every since we met that night three years ago. When I woke the next morning,Yoko wasn't there. It was surprising, considering that she wasn't one to stay out all night. The puzzle deepened when she was still gone by lunch. The six of us were completely baffled.

"I'm sure she'll turn up.Yoko might have needed to blow off some steam last night and overslept somewhere. She can be spontaneous at times you know."Emi suggested to me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. We won't be able to continue withoutYoko here, that's all." I smiled, wishing for her to leave me to my thoughts.

Kaiya rushed in at that moment, flushed and panting. Her eyes held a fierceness I rarely saw, except when she was enraged beyond words.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Sanzo growled in his normal fashion, flipping the page in his paper.

"You look like you've been through hell and back. Wait, you've already done that right?" Gojyo smirked, drinking his tea.

"….I found Yoko." Was all she said, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"Oh really. That's good. We can get on the road now." Gojyo grinned, getting up from his seat.

"I'm sorry.Yoko really isn't in any condition to travel…" Kaiya said slowly.

"What do you mean? Is something wrong with Yoko?" I asked, blinking in confusion.

Kaiya took in deep breaths, unsteady ones. She came over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Hakkai…..Yoko is in a really bad way. She… she was raped last night and they found her this morning. She's been in the hospital ever since. I'm so sorry, Hakkai." She had exclaimed rather hurriedly.

That was when my entire world crumbled before me.


	3. Feud Between Loved Ones

Yay! Chapter 3 is up but still no reveiws. Please tell me what you think. I'm all ears. On with the story!

Normal

Emiand Kaiya sat in the abandoned hallway, guarding the door to Yoko's room. It had been no short of hell convincing Yoko to come back to the inn to recuperate. After Hakkai had burst through the door, only wanting to ease his worry of Yoko, it had gone down hill from there. She screamed at him to get out and threw a vase at him to accentuate the point. It was understandable really. She had been hurt and the natural thing for a person to do is chase away anyone who tries to come near them while they are in that state.

"Do you think she'll be okay?"Emi asked her friend, rubbing the back of her neck.

"It's hard to tell. We just have to have patience." She explained calmly, eyes closed and head back.

"That's easy for you to say."Emi snorted, glaring at her.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" Kaiya asked, lifting her head to look at her.

"Dammit, she's my sister! How can I be calm when someone went and did that to her! You wouldn't understand! You don't have anyone in your life to protect!" Emi yelled at her, disgusted with her attitude towards the whole thing.

Kaiya said nothing, just kept silent. Emi grew angrier at her silence. She grabbed her and pulled her up by the collar.

"Why don't you say something like you always do? 'You should learn to maintain your temper, Emi.' You need to be patient, Emi.' So where is it?" she smirked at her, dropping her to the floor.

"Yoko isn't dying. You act as if she is." Kaiya replied quietly.

"This is worse than dying though. She might want to die now. But of course, you wouldn't understand that. You're too smart and good for suicide. You're too cold and stony for suicide. You're too detached, heartless, and responsible to think about suicide! You're too much like Sanzo when we have problems like this. You two are really perfect for each other." Emi scoffed.

"I made a promise to my dead family that I would live on. If I kill myself or die like this, I will dishonor their sacrifice. You're right, though. I have no one in my life to protect. Maybe that's what makes this life easier for me." She said quietly, returning to her previous position.

Emi realized the impact of her words then. She sat down and remained quiet for a while.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean say that. I'm…. I'm just worried about her okay." Emi whispered, humbling herself.

"It's alright. We must have patience and understanding in order to help her. We must let her know that we're here if she needs to talk." Kaiya smiled at her, taking no offense to her outbursts.

"I just want her to go back to her normal, cheerful self. I just want to see her smile again." She sighed, holding her head in her hands.

" I'm sure she'll be back to normal in no time."

The older woman offered her a knowing smile, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. Emi smiled back weakly, trying to hold herself together, if only for the sake of her younger sister. The two sat in silence, ready to aidYoko if she woke from horror-ridden dreams.


	4. The Solution?

Note: I would just like to say I'm sorry. It has been brought to my attention that my chapters are much too short. I did that on purpose but after this one, they will probably get longer. Up to this point, I've just been building the story. I apologize. Thank you all who've been reading. Thank you lots!

Serephim

Yoko

They're arguing about me again. I can hearEmi yelling at Kaiya about me. I know what she's thinking. She wants to kill the ones responsible for this. So she takes it out on the nearest person in the same vicinity as her.

_Please stop fighting. I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry._

Maybe those guys are right. I am just a slut, a dirty bitch, a whore. They are right. They are right. I stiffen at the sounds in the hallway. Emi was leaving. Kaiya was left alone at her post.

I don't want this. I don't want people doing this for me, I don't want them fighting or blaming themselves. I 'm tired, I just want to sleep. Sleep… Sweet sleep. I want to sleep forever. No one will have to worry if I sleep forever. No one will suffer because of me anymore….

I crept into the adjoining bathroom. I locked the door to ensure my task would be completed. I watched the light dance across the ceiling for a moment. I pulled up my long sleeve and gazed at the marks left on my wrists. They were black, blue, red ugly marks, making my skin crawl. I reached for the knife I had taken fromKaiya earlier.

"Such ugly little marks. Such filthy, disgusting marks." I said to the darkness, a faint smile graced my face.

I plunged deep into my skin, hardly noticing the pain. I laughed slightly. This was how I was going to end it all. This was how I was going to stop the pain, the worry, and the hurt for those I loved. How ironic.

I attacked the marks on my thighs, my ankles, even the one on my neck. I finished my task, letting the knife drop to the floor. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to be free of everything. I dropped as well, resting in the puddle I had created from my blood. I didn't care anymore.

'I feel really tired now… Sleep. That's what I want…. Just to sleep…'

I vaguely remember someone cry out before I slipped into complete darkness. I also remember a floating feeling. I do remember the voice though. The voice that asked me the question I had no answer to.

_"Why, Yoko?" Hakkai asked me._


	5. That Night

Flashback

"Here's your order, Miss. Anything else?" the clerk asked Yoko, pushing the groceries towards her.

"Nope. That's everything." She smiled at him, grabbing the bags.

"Is a friend going to come get you?" he asked, taking the sacred card from her.

"No. I'm by myself. Is there something wrong with that?" she asked, puzzled by the man's concern.

"How about you wait here a little while? I'll be done in a half hour. Then I can walk you home." He said, picking up a broom.

"Um… That's a nice offer but no thank you. I have to get back to my friends." She chuckled nervously, feeling the sudden need to get out before he asked her out. She had been getting that a lot lately.

"I have a wife and kids," the man explained, sensing Yoko's sudden apprehension, "I just don't want a young thing like you wandering these streets this late at night. There are all sorts of seedy characters that come out at this time. I don't want you to become acquainted with those kind of folk if you catch my drift."

" I thank you for your concern, but you have a family to get back to. I can take care of myself. But still, thank you for offering." She reassured him, hefting her groceries to her left arm.

"You're a strong willed one. That much is obvious. Just remember this little bit of advice: The most dangerous people to look out for are the one's who wear a mask of false purity." He explained, returning to his cleaning.

"Thank you. I'll remember that. Good night, sir." She called to him and ran out the door.

"Good. I have everything we need for a while. Goku's probably wanting dinner now." Yoko laughed, thinking of her travel mates and their quirks.

It was dark out by the time she left the last shop. She shivered, wandering with no light except from a lantern still burning in the entry of a shop. There were no stars out and the new moon hung in the sky. The streets were still and silent, save for the occasional cat or breeze that ran through.

"Okay. This goes down on the list. Creepy streets on really dark nights. I should've taken his offer. Oh, great! I'm lost now. Where am I? I don't remember this place at all. Way to go, Yoko. Oh well, I'll just turn around and retrace my steps." She sighed, turning around and heading back to the main street.

She hit the main street but still saw no sign of the inn. She went back and forth trying to find it but still no sign of it. Yoko sat down in defeat and put down the groceries.

"Way to go. I'm so lost… I need to find the inn. If I'm a little late, I'm sure Sanzo won't kill me. He loves me too much. ……He'll totally slaughter me. I'm so dead!" Yoko whined, her head drooping slightly.

A rustling sound came from the other end of the street. She turned and saw a man coming towards her. He was a plain looking man with light brown hair and deep blue eyes. Yoko breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you alright, miss? You look lost." He said, a look of concern on his face.

"I just lost my way. I'm staying at the inn with my friends and nothing around here looks familiar to me." She replied.

"I'm from around here. You know you shouldn't be out here this late at night. The shady characters usually come out at this time." He chastised her.

"You are the second person tonight that has told me that. I'm beginning to think that I really want to be home now." Yoko laughed nervously.

"Allow me to take you back to the inn. It's a few streets in the other direction but the part of town you have to travel through is a lot more dangerous at night than in the day. I hope you don't mind my taking you back." He explained, running a hand through his hair.

"Well. I don't see why not, seeing as how two people have told me it's dangerous at this hour. Thank you very much." She smiled, picking up her groceries.

"Allow me to carry them." He said, reaching for them.

"Oh no. You're already taking me back to the inn. I'll carry my own groceries, thank you." She reproached, holding them firmly in her arms.

He tried to persuade her but Yoko refused. He finally shrugged it off and started leading the way. They passed the darken streets and Yoko felt a small sense of dread stirring in her gut.

'Why do I get the feeling something really bad's going to happen?' she thought, thinking about the earful or fan shot she'd receive from Sanzo.

The man had stopped suddenly for some reason. Yoko looked up and a puzzled expression crossed her face. She had no idea where they were. She went past him, trying to figure out where they were.

"Where are we? I don't recognize anything here." She asked him, still searching for some landmark.

She received no answer from her companion.

"Excuse me, sir… Is something wrong?" she asked, turning slightly.

A sharp pain invaded her head, forcing her to drop the groceries and fall to her knees. She clutched her head and fought the tears that threatened to surface. Another sharp flash of pain sent her into darkness, no longer hearing or seeing anything.

Yokowoke a short time later in a room she didn't recognize. She looked at her hands and realized that she hadn't been bound with ropes or anything. She tried sitting, finding resistance from her body. She tried to say something, but her voice was hoarse and was no higher than a whisper.

"Well. You're up my dear."

She looked and found her guide from before. Only now he had shed that mask of concern to replace it with a look of pure malevolence.

"Surprised? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to accept help from strangers?" he laughed softly, coming over to the bed she was laying on.

"You can't move a single part of your body. Know why? I drugged you before you came to. It's a lot easier than binding someone with rope. It's your legs I'm mainly looking at for. I wouldn't want one of them flying up out of nowhere would I." He continued, unrushed.

Yoko wanted to cry, scream, kick, holler, punch, bite, or something. Anything to get away from this place she was in. The man got up and came back with a length of rope.

"Just as a precaution you realize. Don't worry. I won't mar that pretty skin of yours. I happen to like it very much so." He sighed, tying her arms to the headboard of the bed.

He brought out a knife and showed her how sharp it was by splitting a hair on the edge. He brought it under her shirt and jerked up, slicing the fabric cleanly. Her upper body was exposed to his wandering eye. He gently slipped the knife under herundershirt and repeated the process. He licked a small trail up to her breast, enjoying the taste of her.

His hand slipped down and undid her pants, pulling them off. He grinned, his eyes laughing with glee at his progress. He kissed a trail up her jaw, gently as if he was afraid to break her. He went to her lips and took them wholly.

Yoko wanted to scream more than ever but her voice was still gone. He overwhelmed her senses. She felt like gagging at the sheer horror of it all. He thrust his tongue roughly in her mouth and began to touch everything, from her thighs to her face. She did the only thing she could think of. She bit down on his tongue, hard. He reared back and sat up quickly.

"Shit! You are going to regret doing that, you bitch." He cursed, cupping his hand to catch the blood that fell from his tongue. Yoko glared at him with defiance and spat in his face. He wiped it off and slapped her with stunning force.

"I was trying to be nice. Obviously, that's not going to happen now. Just remember, you brought this on yourself." He laughed; a small trail of blood ran down the side of his mouth.

He towered over her, eyes glittering darkly. He took her breast, biting until it almost bled. He slapped her on the thighs until they were a bright red. He finally pushed himself in her, hard and fast. Yoko gasped at the searing pain that ran through her. She fought back the tears that threatened to pour from her.

With every move he made, it was another piece of herself falling away. She couldn't breath without shuddering at the pain. She stared at the ceiling, counting the cracks. The thrusts became harder and faster, making tears fall from her eyes. She thought of her friends who were waiting for her and she thought of Hakkai with his gentle laughter, calm smiles, and warm hands.

He gave a final thrust and spilled into her. He untied her arms and rolled off of her, leaving her to herself. Once he was gone, she gave into the sorrow that plagued her mind. She fell into a deep troubled sleep that night, hoping when she woke it would be just a dream.

She woke up and found him staring down at her. He was smoking a cigarette and grinning darkly.

"It's about time. I have a couple of friends coming over. They'll enjoy you. A little tight but still very stimulating." He snorted turning around to pull his shirt on. Yoko tried to sit up but fell to the floor in the process. The man laughed at her, shaking his head at her. She watched him crush out his cigarette in an ashtray and pick up the little pieces of fabric from her clothing off the floor.

He was saying something about her being a 'good piece for the guys' but her eyes were focused elsewhere. She found a lead pipe of sorts among the wreckage. She slowly crept out her hand and grabbed it. The man was still chattering away, which gave her the time to pull herself up high enough. She lifted the pipe high above her head and brought it down on him.

She kept doing this over and over, his screams sounding far away to her ears. The constant pounding in her ears drowned out all other sounds, except for the sharp clunk of the metal. The screams stopped and she looked at the man for the first time since she began her task.

His limbs were limp and his head looked as if someone had stepped on it repeatedly. His eyes rolled back into his head and his mouth hung open in a final attempt to scream. He lay in a pool of blood, his own blood that also covered Yoko. She dropped the pipe and reached for her coat that was draped over a chair. She ran out of the room and collapsed a few streets away. How she ever made it that far, she would never guess. At that moment, she didn't really know what anything was anymore.


	6. Runaway

(Present time)

Hakkai

'I don't understand. Why did you feel the need to bleed yourself dry? I don't understand. Was the pain that difficult to bear alone? Why didn't you come toEmi orKaiya for help?'

All the thoughts ran through my mind as I sat beside her, watching her soft breathing. Kaiya had sensed something amiss when she heard a door click inside the room. It was even more unnerving when she heard no other sound come from inside the room. Kaiya screamed for help when she found Yoko as she did.

We were lucky. We got her help in time but she still lost a lot of blood. I still have to ask though: What could have possessed her to do this? Were her memories of that night so horrible that she felt she had to die? Why does this keep happening?

I don't understand. I guess I'm not the one who went through it… But why does it have to be such gentle and innocent creatures that take this abuse?

I stood up and looked out the window. I retract my gaze and look at me reflection. My hand drifts to my abdomen. I run my hand across the fabric, feeling the scar underneath.

'I like your hands, Gonou. You have such long fingers.'

My hands, huh? Then why are they always covered in blood, Kanan? It's raining outside. The lightening flashing across my face, revealing a soul long dead.

'Your scar's pretty. Like a painting of a sunset.'

This is pretty? Even after all the pain I've brought to everyone? I can't protect anyone…

Not even those I love. What purpose was I brought here for? I can't even save the most important people to me.

I don't understand. I wish I could turn back the clock. Maybe that's why I did it. Maybe that's why I ran from the inn as fast as I could. I still remember Gojyo and Goku, yelling at me to come back. I wasn't listening, I couldn't hear. The only noise was the pounding of my feet and the rain.

Normal

"Guys! Hakkai just ran off somewhere! Gojyo and I are going after him!" Goku shouted, grabbing his and Gojyo's jacket off the hooks.

"We'll back who knows when. So don't wait up for us." Gojyo called, taking his coat from Goku.

"Don't bother."

Goku and Gojyo looked back at Sanzo. They stared at him in disbelief.

"What do you mean 'don't bother'? Hakkai's in his depression big time. He's likely to do something crazy when he's like that. And you're telling us not to bother with it? Have you lost you're mind!" Gojyo shouted at the priest.

Sanzo looked him straight in the eye, his eyes stating that he had said nothing wrong. He blew a thin stream of smoke towards Gojyo.

"He has problems he has to sort out himself. There's no sense in trying to force him back. He'll be fine." Sanzo sneered, tapping the ashes into an ashtray.

"What the fuck? You seriously think that! Hakkai just found her bleeding like crazy in her room, not giving a damn if she dies or not. How is that supposed to help his mood at the moment?" Gojyo growled at the aloof monk.

"Yoko's condition is what we have to worry about now, not Hakkai's. We have to make sure she's alright before we can really start worrying about Hakkai." He replied, going back to his paper.

Gojyo said nothing, just glaring at him. He threw his jacket in a corner and stormed up to his room. Goku looked at Sanzo meekly, then followed Gojyo's example and headed to his room. Sanzo sighed heavily, turning his attention to the rain outside.

"You do realize that the rain is only an illusion within your own doubtful heart?" a voice said to him.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" he replied to Kaiya, wanting to be left alone.

The demoness sat down beside him on the windowsill, keeping a little distance between herself and the priest. She picked the paper he had been reading and tore a page out. She started to fold it, moving slowly.

"I'm busy. So get the hell out." He growled, trying to focus on the rain.

"I'm being quiet, Sanzo. I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong." She sighed, her eyes glued on the paper she was folding.

"You're very presence gives me a migraine. Get out I have things I need to think over." He sighed, tapping out another cigarette.

Kaiya didn't save anything, nor did she leave. She scooted closer to the priest and grabbed his chin gently. Most would have died because of this but Sanzo settled for giving her a death glare. Kaiya smirked at him and sighed.

"I sometimes wonder why we were chosen. Don't you?" she asked, keeping a steady hold on his chin.

"No. I want to get this journey over with. Now get out." He said coldly, his glare never leaving her.

"Why are there men like you in this world? Men who would rather die than cry or actually show some emotion. I have never understood that." Kaiya sighed at length, letting go of his chin.

Sanzo said nothing to her, turning his attention back to the window. Kaiya watched him for a while and stood up to leave. She got to the door when he called her back.

"Yes?" Her cool, hazel eyes watching him, waiting for him to say something.

" Perhaps the reason people like me exist is so people who tend to let emotions govern their actions have someone who will give them the straight truth and not a lie." He suggested, turning his violet eyes to her.

"Perhaps. Perhaps the reason why people like me exist is so people like you will have a confident. Someone who accepts you for your actions and the way you are regardless." She chuckled, smiling at him.

"What's the reason you live? Why do you continue to live despite what others think of you?" he asked, putting his head in his hand.

"That's easy. … To annoy the hell out of you, of course. That's my drive in life." She laughed, a big grin stretching across her face.

The pounding of footsteps and Emi, Gojyo, and Goku bursting through the door shattered the silence of the night.

"What is it now?" Sanzo barked at the intruders.

"Good news, cranky ass. Yoko's disappeared!" Gojyo sneered at him.

"What?" he whispered.


	7. Resolution

Normal

_'I will never know how it happened… But I turned for one second and you appeared in my life out of nowhere.'_

The rain came down harder, as Hakkai walked on. The forest seemed endless, but that was all right to him. He wanted to be lost, so lost he could never find his way back. At least that's how he felt inside. He was walking down a path of endless self-destruction.

'What does it matter anymore? When did it matter anyway?' Hakkai thought to himself, as he walked the path before him. He finally stopped and slumped down under a tree. He wiped the water from his right eye, having lost his monocle a while back. He didn't care about it. He hoped it would get buried in the mud.

He curled himself up, trying to hide himself from anyone who happened to walk by. But no one would walk by, because no one would be in the forest then. No one ever went into that forest, because a horde of demons had taking up residence there. The same demons that decided it would be fun to mess with Hakkai.

It just proves that most people, humans or demons, don't know when to leave someone alone. Especially if that someone is Hakkai.

"Why would Hakkai do something like this? What would possible possess him to run off?" Sanzo roared, slamming his fist into the table.

"What possesses mankind to destroy themselves? What possesses a person to run away at the crucial moment? Therein, lies our predicament." Kaiya replied, watching the rain outside.

Sanzo stared at her, not knowing what to say.

"Hey, guys. Look what we have here. Seems a maggot wandered into our woods. What should we do to him?" the big one asked the two smaller demons of the group.

"Maybe we should kill him and mince him." The lanky one replied, licking his chops.

"I've always preferred grinding my meat up." The stouter one cackled, pulling out a club of sorts.

"How about we kill him first? Then we'll decide what to do with him. Oi! Wake up, Green. Or would you prefer to keep your eyes closed so you don't see the blood?" Alpha male laughed, pulling a knife out and raising it above his head. They cackled crowding around him and trying to guess what his screams sounded like.

That's why they never saw it coming. That's why they never expected to see their leader's head on the cold ground.

"Shit! Where are they? It's not good for either of them to be out in this weather." Gojyo cursed, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes.

"Maybe, we aren't looking hard enough. I know! We haven't tried the alleyways, yet! Come on! Let's go!" Goku cried, pulling at Emi's arm.

"…Let's go back to the inn. We won't find them tonight. Let's just go." Emi whispered, turning back in the direction of the inn.

"What? But we can't leave Hakkai andYoko out their by themselves! What if something happens to them!" Goku shouted at her, the rain falling harder.

"They don't want us to find them….. Right now all we can do is sit back and hope that they'll be alright. That's all we can do right now."Emi choked, her shoulders quivering slightly.

Gojyo took of his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, telling her that it was time to go. Goku followed them, silently praying for the two missing to be alright.

Hakkai was bleeding from a cut on his arm. It wasn't too deep. Not as deep as the one's the demons received. Hakkai had ripped into them, hoping that it would make him feel something. Maybe some form of remorse even. He was still numb. Not only that, he was covered in their blood. He was thinking of Kanan andYoko and all he could do was go numb.

Hakkai picked up the knife one of the demons had dropped. He looked it over, memorizing how it felt in his hand. He stroked the edge of it, pushing harder with each stroke. He finally drew blood on the sixth stroke. Hakkai smiled faintly at the sight, laughing slightly. He ran the blade across his scar, the steel barred by his shirt. He sighed, placing it near his throat and shaking his head. No matter where he put the damned thing, it just didn't feel right.

_' Every moment I was with you, I felt as if I were betraying her. Why, then, did I yearn for your presence so much?'_

'Oh well. I guess there is no right way.' He thought.

He took the blade and positioned it over his scar. He raised his arms and sighed.

'Well, I guess this is goodbye. I have done enough to the ones I love. Goodbye.' He thought, bringing the blade down on himself.

/schwick, splick/

He opened his eyes and gasped at the sight before him. The blade had never reached his scar, but rather a hand, now covered in blood, had caught it. Not just any hand, mind you. The hand that had caught the blade belonged to Yoko, who looked at Hakkai with fearful, teary eyes.

"Stop it…. Please, Hakkai. Just stop it….. Please." She gasped, pulling the blade from his hands and placing it to the side. Twin long cuts bled freely, mixing with the rain.

"I'm sorry…. I didn't mean to hurt you…. I should've listened to you . I wanted you to be happy… I'm sorry. I'm sorry."Yoko sobbed, reaching for Hakkai's hand and putting it to her face.

_'It was only then I discovered… How much I truly needed you in my life.'_

Hakkai put his hands aroundYoko tightly, as if he were afraid to let her go. She sobbed into him, her shoulders shaking as she let out the grief and pain she had kept inside her for the past few days. Hakkai didn't say anything. He just rubbed her back in small circles and rocked her gently.

When she stopped, they didn't say anything. Hakkai got to his feet and pulledYoko up as well. The two walked back in silence, close together as if they were afraid of losing each other. The rain had slowed to a small drizzle by then and had gone unnoticed by the two. As they approached the inn, Yoko started to fish around in her pockets a bit before she found what she was looking for. She pulled out his monocle and offered it to him. He took it from her and slipped it into his pocket. The two went inside and up to their room, cold and wet.

The others were asleep by this time except for a pair of watchful eyes, following their path into their room. A yawn came from the other side of the room.

"What are you still up for?" A rustle of sheets informed the watcher that their companion was joining them.

"Just watching, that's all. I'm glad everything's back to normal. Or at least as normal as these morons can get."

"Don't hate them for their lack of intelligence." The other protested lightly, watching the watcher cross to their bed on the other side of the room.

"Why shouldn't I?" the watcher climbed into bed and pulled the blankets over their form.

"Because…. Aren't we all a bit lacking in some departments? Don't you think, Konzen?"

"What was that last thing you said?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing important at least."

The two fell asleep, content that all had ended well for the better.

_'It was only then I knew that you were what I was wishing for._

_It was only then I realized that you were the angel I loved so dearly_

_And that I would go to hell and back to find you._

_Because that is how much I truly love you'_

Two weeks later

"My, my! It seems that we're running out of supplies already and I bought them just a week ago! What to do, what to do?" Hakkai laughed as he accepted the golden card from Sanzo.

"Just don't buy unnecessary items, got me? And don't forget my cigarettes." Sanzo growled, going back to his paper.

"Hey Hakkai. Is it alright if I come with you and help you carry some of the groceries?"Yoko asked, looking at him earnestly.

"Well… I can always use an extra hand. Not only that but I would enjoy the company." Hakkai smiled, turning toward the door.

Yokofollowed Hakkai out the door and Kaiya just smiled at the sight. Sanzo snorted at her and she just rolled her eyes at him. But it just more than to them. It meant that the wounds would heal. And if given enough time, perhaps the small bud would grow into something beautifully alive. That is what they both silently hoped for them. But they would be damned if they admitted it freely.

_**Owari**_


End file.
